Posted by: distributorcap | August 25, 2007


If Lucy could do a television commercial, so can distributorcap.

It’s so tasty too, just like candy

Well channeling my inner Rula Lenska (who if you read several posts ago was a nobody who hawked Alberto VO5 — and that was the joke, a nobody pretending to be a somebody, like me), I was cast as the busy executive who didn’t want to miss his plane in the memorable commercial for Nationwide Wakeup.

This commercial was done on, shall we say (kindly), the cheap. And being that the star of this Cecil B. DeMille production was not a member of SAG, Equity or AFTRA — he came cheap (very) as well. Shot in the scenic Bronx, it was rife with urban flavor — you get a grand tour of elevated subways. (Hint to script writers — you cannot take a subway to either LaGuardia or Kennedy airports). For the dramatic indoor shots, we used the producer’s (a very loose use of that title) house. Sports references abound. I did a tribute to the Hertz and wife-killer OJ Simpson airport commercial – near the #5 train. In the cramped bathroom of the house you will see an homage to Noxema and Broadway Joe Namath.

So why don’t you join those thousands of happy peppy people

The “best” part was this commercial played endlessly on cable for more than a year. There was even a Spanish version, so los latinos también no duermen tarde. More than once I would be at a bar watching a Met/Knick game and voila — there I was for the whole place to see. “Are you duh guy in dat ad?” I was the talk of the town and cheesey sports bars. Fame sure had its benefits. Got me free drinks on more than one occasion. And so I didn’t slip into the fame-pratfalls of Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, I could cab home. Remember the paparazzi from Princess Diana — well one night they chased my cab into the tunnel under Park Avenue. Unlike Di and Dodi, I am here to blog.

But fame has its downside as well — I was typecast as the busy executive with the fashionista gold chain. So needless to say the commercial career didn’t last too long – finding those kind of parts became problematical. They say don’t quit your day job — I didn’t.

And alas, Nationwide Wakeup didn’t last much longer either. Having spent way too much money on buying commericals on MSG, New York 1 and other assorted channels, the company went belly-up, probably stiffing a boatload of vendors. I for one collected my $100 (there were NO royalties) well ahead of their demise.

Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, the answer to all your troubles is in this bittle lottle!

yes yes and pass the Vitameatavegamin, I need to wake up


  1. Do I actually know you? Oh I do, don’t I. Yet through this damn blog, I learn so much. So much.Wow.

  2. Awwwww! You look so important and busy, distributorcap! Can I have your autograph? 😉

  3. distributorcap: I have a friend who has done a couple of commercials. He looks professorial, so he got parts as a surgeon and an incompetent CEO for some cable company. Sadly, the ad didn’t play here, but his family in Georgia got to see it. His fame was, therefore, more short lived than yours. On the plus side, John Waters directed one of his commercials.

  4. I also forgot to add that the I Love Lucy Show was the best! I think her humor is timeless and I still laugh at the vitameatavegamin episode. They don’t make ’em like Lucy any more!

  5. Is Ronco still around? I blame them for the general demise of American society.

  6. Holy crap. You mean to tell me you didn’t win an Emmy for that? You wuz robbed!

  7. That’s all they paid you? You wuz robbed indeed. I got at least $250 for my bit part in “Bull Durham”.

  8. morseWho were you in Bull Durham? That’s one of my husbands favorite movies!

  9. I’m in the crowd, during the opening credits. There are 2 guys wearing glasses in the stands; that’s me and my friend Kevin.

  10. morseI’m going to watch it tonight and look for you, we have it on DVD. I can say I knew you when….sorta. 😉

  11. DCap:It’s no wonder they paid you $100. How could they make any money at $0.40 a call? BTW, when you’re late, you’re supposed to bound UP the elevated train steps, and then, you’re supposed to take the steps two at a time. You should know that’s how real NYers deal with being late.Thanks for sharing. Cool post. I promise, if I see you in a bar and that commercial comes on, you’re next beer is on me.

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