from Yahoo News/AP
Court to rule if chimp has human rights
VIENNA, Austria – He’s now got a human name — Matthew Hiasl Pan — but he’s having trouble getting his day in court. Animal rights activists campaigning to get Pan, a 26-year-old chimpanzee, legally declared a person vowed Thursday to take their challenge to Austria’s Supreme Court after a lower court threw out their latest appeal.
A provincial judge in the city of Wiener Neustadt dismissed the case earlier this week, ruling that the Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories had no legal standing to argue on the chimp’s behalf.
The association, which worries the shelter caring for the chimp might close, has been pressing to get Pan declared a “person” so a guardian can be appointed to look out for his interests and provide him with a home.
Group president Martin Balluch insists that Pan is “a being with interests” and accuses the Austrian judicial system of monkeying around.
“It is astounding how all the courts try to evade the question of personhood of a chimp as much as they can,” Balluch said.
A hearing date for the Supreme Court appeal was not immediately set.
We have a chimp passing himself off as the leader of the free world, who said yesterday at PS 76 in New York that “Childrens do learn,” and who thinks all the Mandelas are dead. Why can’t the Supreme Court of our country declare McFlightsuit a Chimp
maybe because the Chimpanzees don’t want him either
Distributorcap 
This would be interesting, because if the court declares the chimp a person, that would enforce the theory of evolution. Bush….there’s no doubt in my mind that he doesn’t have the brain capacity of a flea.
By: Mary Ellen on September 27, 2007
at 5:06 pm
Well, Mary Ellen just kinda wrote what I was going to…Shit…
By: angry ballerina on September 27, 2007
at 5:17 pm
Agreed DC. And why not make a chimp a person?
By: phil_in_ny on September 27, 2007
at 8:56 pm
I tend to have more respect for the other great apes than the human variety anyway.
By: chenchy on September 28, 2007
at 12:36 am
Hmmm… I am waiting for Dr. Monkey and Dr. Zaius to weigh in on this one.
By: FranIAm on September 28, 2007
at 12:37 am
Laughing too hard….!!!
By: Michael Manning on September 28, 2007
at 4:26 am
I read that article this morning, and the first thing I thought of – somebody’s mocking Bush big time!We have provisions in our constitution for physical disabilities to the President; it’s past time we got the same for mental ones as well.
By: The Future Was Yesterday on September 28, 2007
at 5:36 am
The question is not whether an ape should have the same rights as a human. The question is whether or not a human should be allowed to have the same rights as an ape. The Lawgiver said, “And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden and chained him to a tree, and the children did make sport of him.”
By: Dr. Zaius on September 28, 2007
at 10:57 am
Wouldn’t it be great to replace Bush’s portrait in the White House with a picture from Planet of the Apes? I wonder how long it would take anyone to notice?
By: Mary Ellen on September 28, 2007
at 3:06 pm
DCap-This a very interesting question in a Star Trekky sort of way. Let me explain with some simple questions.Can this chimp be considered a sentient being?If so, then does the chimp have an innate right to life?Finally, if the chimp’s does indeed possess an innate right, should it not have a court appointed guardian to ensure that the chimp’s right is not infringed.I know this opens a huge can of worms because the argument would inevitably be extended to other animals that are euthanized because they’ve exceed their stay at a shelter.However, the lynch pin is with the sentient question, which I define as being self-aware. Clearly, animals such as apes and chimps have demonstrated a remarkable degree of self awareness right down to recognizing themselves in mirrors.That said, I don’t think the “is the chimp a person” question valid because clearly they are not homo sapiens, which is defined as:the only surviving hominid; species to which modern man belongs; bipedal primate having language and ability to make and use complex tools; brain volume at least 1400 cc.That’s my $0.02.
By: Spartacus on September 28, 2007
at 4:33 pm
Completely off thread:D-Cap, did I see you on the tellie watching the Boss at the Today show?White cap and white boss tee?
By: Jess Wundrun on September 28, 2007
at 4:59 pm
chimps and baboons (even the bugs tom delay kills) are far better creatures than the dingleberry in the white housejess — i was hanging out the window taking pictures and movies overlooking the plaza – will put them up
By: Distributorcap on September 28, 2007
at 5:25 pm
I’d rule against the Chimp-in-Chief. He’s lower on the evolutionary scale (which he doesn’t believe in) than your average koi.
By: Omnipotent Poobah on September 29, 2007
at 3:05 am
Frankly, we apes object to being compared with Bush.
By: King Kong on September 29, 2007
at 9:19 pm
Human rights, chimp rights, none of it would matter a bit in Bush’s America.We only have the rights he thinks we should have.
By: DCup on September 30, 2007
at 3:14 am