Posted by: distributorcap | December 15, 2007

All I Want for Christmas…

Our Congress, which knows what is and isn’t important has honored a holiday. On this holiday you get gifts. What does America want for Christmas?

This is only the demonstration model. Your actual action figure does come complete with a coffin and dirt so insane people who vote for the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei Republican party can dig it up and vote for it next November. The worms and a rotted brain are an additional charge. Nancy Reagan and astrologer dolls are sold separately

*The Reagan action figure, made in China to save money and make more corporate execs rich, is not recommended for children or Mikhail Gorbachev.


  1. “Mr. Consumer, tear open this package.”

  2. Hysterical!I’m sure they would totally vote for Reagan if they could.On the other hand, conversely, I think Bill Clinton would have no problem being reelected if he could run!

  3. Clearly this needs a pull-string that takes snippets of popular speeches like “I just passed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”Why anyone would romanticize a leader who was clearly suffering from the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s and routinely forgot the names of his Cabinet is beyond me.

  4. Reagan was a bad president?

  5. LOL!! No doubt it’s painted woth lead-based paint.

  6. I liked Reagan. I think we should clone him. Or something like that.

  7. I wonder if it’s anatomically correct?

  8. I would buy it only if it comes with a very sharp pin.Regards,Tengrain

  9. PiNYC…an anatomically correct Reagan doll? I’ll bet Nancy wouldn’t even know the answer that question.

  10. I wonder if the toy doll, after using it for several years, develops alzheimers and starts doing really bizarre things. Not that Reagan didn’t do bizarre things when he “was all there”, but still…that would be a nice added dimension, don’t you think?

  11. Does it come complete with the convenient memory loss so the whole Iran-Contra mess is forgotten? How about the complete disregard for the environment accessory? And don’t forget the “What’s good for business is good for America, no matter if you poor people get fucked in the process” kit of deregulation and tax cuts for the rich? And all in mint condition, right?

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