Posted by: distributorcap | September 28, 2008

Limbo Rock

It appears the the Palin rose has turned into skunk cabbage. Not that that is a surprise to most people – her transparency was evident the day she was selected. Other than the hardcore whacko base – the same people that would never vote Democratic, even under threat of torture – there is virtually not one person left who sees much to cheer about in this selection. Toto has pulled back the curtain and has revealed one of the most (if not the most) insane, unsafe and damaging moves in American political history. Even if McCain wins in November, the country loses. Sarah Palin is the epitome of how far this country has fallen from its position as the beacon of hope. We are the beacon of American Idol. Ryan Seacrest should replace the Statue of Liberty.

On Thursday October 2 it will be Sarah’s turn to venture into the world of Presidential debates. John McCain, Steve Schmidt and even KKKarl Rove all have to be shitting bricks at this point. I truly believe that none of them ever (to quote another Republican loser) “could have imagined their Vice Presidential candidate would crash and burn so fast.”

They can cram all the facts and figures they want into her pea brain. The can put a box on her back (like Bush in 2004) and feed answers to her. They can let her read the Cliffs Notes version of US Politics 101. They can give mind altering drugs. They can write notes on her hand. The debate commission can even let her bring index cards in. What they cannot do at this point is make anything she says appear coherent or believable. Palin’s decision to sit down with Katie Couric was probably the final straw.

When writers like conservative columnist Kathleen Parker say “Palin must go” – you know you are in deep doody. Palin’s interview with Charlie Gibson was awful – she was programmed, robotic and gave a lot of bad answers. But the rightwing chalked it up to nerves, inexperience and Gibson being a sexist (when things do not work, go the sexist route).

She then went on Sean Hannity’s show for the easiest interview of all time. Nothing like a friendly douchebag to make you feel more comfortable and secure in a place where you absolutely need to learn how to feel uncomfortable and secure – and make it work for you. That is one of the traits of a good politician. Hannity was just a shot of oxycotin – it was not an inoculation against what was coming.

Palin’s dialogue with Katie Couric may be the most pathetic interview by an American politician in the history of the Republic. It just wasn’t that she did know the facts and mixed them up (i.e. the bailout will help health care) – it was that she was completely incoherent and illogical. Palin rambled and rambled badly – her answers to many questions made absolutely no sense – mainly because she had no idea how to answer them! Being a seasoned news anchor – she was doing what all good anchors are taught to do when they have nothing to say – fill up the airtime until the commercial break. Palin made Miss South Carolina look like Madame Curie.

Couric sat in stunned silence. You could just see the idea bubble over Couric’s head saying – what the fuck is this woman talking about? Jack Cafferty couldn’t hold back, calling her pathetic. And now the rest of America sits in amazement. No one can honestly say this woman is qualified to be Vice President after that interview. For political purposes the right wing Punditoria might will verbally poo-poo Palin’s performance as “no big deal” and call Katie part of the liberal attack media. But none of that will take away from the fact this woman is a complete and total blithering idiot. For her 44 years, she has obviously taken ZERO interest in world affairs, national politics and general 20th century history. Sure she may be able to run a state (I have strong doubts about that) – but managing a state is nothing like dealing in a world of diplomacy, tact, intellect, high-powered gamesmanship, posturing and smarts.

Palin is way in over her head – she knows it, McCain knows it, the base knows it and America knows it.

I used to think they (the media) would just set the bar so low for her that just showing up at the debate would be a win. Also Joe Biden had to tread a fine line and not pull a “Rick Lazio” on her and be accused of bullying the poor demure flower. Biden also has to have some semblance of grace to avoid the sexist label. (Face it, no matter what he does, he will be accused of both – especially from the Limbaugh wing). But after the Couric trainwreck, I think Biden just got a mulligan and Palin just cooked her goose. She might surprise – but if Henry Paulson wants to get that $700 billion check with no work – he should just take the house bet at Caesar’s against Palin.

With no command of the facts – and no voice of either authority and knowledge behind those facts she will attempt to rattle off – Palin runs the risk of looking like Charlie McCarthy, or worse Jerry Mahoney, on heroin. Schmidt and his lemmings will drill for four days her like she was about to take the SATs. They might even pull A Clockwork Orange on her — and hold her eyes open and make her watch movies from WWII. But nothing on the planet Earth will give her any credibility. She is hopeless on this front.

Biden will need to bite his tongue before breaking out into laughter.

I truly hope Palin fails miserably and makes a complete ass of herself on Thursday. Short of aliens landing at Roswell, there is nothing that will get the GOP to drop Palin – Republicans NEVER admit mistakes. But the sad fact is — if the McCain/Palin tickets manages to win in November, this vapid excuse for a trailer trash Barbie doll is just one melanoma away from running the country – and probably running the US into the ground.

Grab your popcorn, fasten your seatbelts – it is going to be a bumpy ride


  1. I think Tina Fey as Palin and Amy Poehler as Katie Couric on Saturday Night Live tonight pretty much nailed her coffin shut.That debate next Thursday will be the social event of the season– people will gather together to laugh their asses off at that arrogant, insipid, clueless nitwit.Biden need only relax and watch her unravel at even the slightest open ended question.All she’s capable of is rehashing cliches and parroting talking points supplied by Rove. If she’s pressed to elaborate on anything whatsoever, she’ll do what she did with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric- freeze like a moose caught in the headlights.And America won’t feel sorry for the cocky bitch. She’s like the ultimate snobby popular girl who comes out of the ladies room with toilet paper stuck to her shoe: a laugh riot.I’m so glad McCain chose her. I couldn’t have found anyone as ignorant and ridiculous if I tried.

  2. The fact that she’s Dick Cheney with a vagina should be enough to send people away from her in horror.McCandy keeps trying to tie Iraq to the 9/11 terrorist attacks despite this claim having long since been discredited by everyone in the intelligence community.But McCandy marshals on. Stumbling through the wilderness.

  3. Hey Cap;For anyone following these things they realize Palin is a boat anchor.Obama will get in if nothing serious happens like Pelosi forcing a bailout down the throats of Americans and according to what I read, CEO pay that is “reasonable” will be honored. Who will define “reasonable”?The Republicans that are breaking away from Bush appear to be one block that wants to see this bailout financed by the financial industry, not the government. These Republicans no longer care about who is going to win, they and a a number of Democrats may put the brakes on things. If Pelosi forces the Dems to vote party line it may have a Palin effect across America.I have to agree. Pelosi is as big a threat to Democrat’s success as Palin is to McCain’s.There is no doubt the Obama/Biden ticket is far better for America, but how main street views this five weeks from now depends on how this “crisis” is managed and what happens.Most small business owners I know hate the thought of any bail out. Who can blame them?

  4. I think Tina Fey would have been a better choice for VP. I found your blog via Idealcrap’s and have now added you to my favorites. Thanks for the best read I’ve had in a while.

  5. I cannot wait for Thursday’s debate, but it will be interesting to see if they go to some length to try and weasel out of this. Of course thee’s always the October surprise to anticipate.

  6. Your post and the other commenters have said it all…

  7. I can’t wait until she debates Biden! yes -it should be funny! Yes-the Limbaugh people will accuse Biden of being “mean” (actually debating Palin)! It should be good!

  8. I really hope you’re right about the VP debate. Part of me is fearing that this is some kind of Karl Rove masterplan to lure the Dems into a false sense of security. Stick her on Couric, make her look like a retard and then get a Matrix-style cranial implant to humble Biden. I won’t be whipping out the champagne just yet.

  9. imaginary reviewer: I never considered that.If it were possible it would make a lot of people very insecure.

  10. I’ve cleared my calendar.

  11. This is what makes America great. The chance for a bumbling, clueless clown to both bumble, sans clues, through a “debate” – none of these are real ones, dammit – AND be that one melanoma away from the big chair. The American Dream, baby!

  12. Dorothy Parker said it best: You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think.I’m not sure the Rs are smart enough to pull off something as clever as what the imaginary viewer suggests. I just don’t see them as being that smart. That devious? You betcha. Smart enough to pull it off? Not so much. These are the same rocket scientists who got caught burglarizing D party headquarters. They can’t pull off a third-rate burglary, I don’t see them implanting a brain in Palin in time for Thursday’s debate.The 2000 and 2004 elections were stolen by sub-contracted computer geeks who did evil things to the voting machines. My guess is they’ve all been killed in tragic accidents by now.It is Sunday. I now will retire to the couch to shout at various and sundry football teams. I have as much chance changing those outcomes as I have in any of this.

  13. Oh I seriously doubt the GOP had the ingenuity to prompt Palin to act like an idiot with Couric and Gibson, only to have her burst forth during the debate as an agile expert on policy.See, she’d have to be smart enough to pull that off and we’ve seen enough extemporaneous evidence to the contrary.”Legally Blonde” was just a movie and Elle was just reciting her clever lines.Let’s stop pretending Palin’s got any secret weapons. She’s a dimwit.

  14. I heard Friday that they already started the cram and the rupublicans in the room were just stunned. They don’t know what to do with her. God wasn’t this a movie plot of a bad 1930s movie? You know where they take a moron and try to make him king.

  15. Kz – they didn’t even have to rewrite Palin’s words. She is a nitwit – they cannot possibly train her to be “on” – she can recite facts but without a clear understanding of the world (and Palin has ZERO understanding of anything) it will come off as programmed and robotic. Do you remember the scene from “Singing in the Rain” when the sound track is out of sync between Jean Hagen and Gene Kelly — that is what I expectAs for toilet paper – didn’t Roseanne roseannadanna see Princess Lee Radziwill do that one time LOLChristopher – they cannot rescue from this. There is no prompter, no crowd of wingnuts cheering her onIch – Reasonable – do not get me started. That is like cheney’s “so” a complete flipping of the bird at the American public. Problem is this ‘bailout’ has to happen in some form – the credit markets have stopped functioning – and small business owners cannot money to pay vendors or make payroll, we are fucked either wayI just think this bailout is wrong on so many levels – but it is gonna happenDiane – thanks for coming by. I am adding you as well. Tina Fey would have been better, hell Dakota Fanning would have been a better choice/ Morse – this is better than All My ChildrenFran – mwah of courseMicgar – Limbaugh has his speech already written. Biden will be the bad guy no matter. My gut is palin will self destruct, biden can just go along for the rideImagine – even if they wanted to do pull off some grand STING operation on America – palin is just too vapid to be Robert Redford or (RIP) Paul NewmanDcup – LOLRandal – we are living the American dream via American idol, hey did you hear, clay aiken is gay. Maybe sarah can convert himDawn – I am adding you – you are too smart! Palin is a moron, or is it an imbecile that has a lower IQ. And randal will tell you how much I love sports. LOL did the hurricane hit?Kz – you said it mi amiga. The only secret weapon palin has it tossing some moose shit on bidenDemeur – this is Duck Soup and Sara Palin is a bad charicature of Margaret Dumont

  16. Here’s the October surprise:The Shotgun WeddingAccording to the Times of London, it will put Charles and Di’s to shame.Inside John McCain’s campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. “It would be fantastic,” said a McCain insider. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.”…

  17. I have known and worked with people like Palin. I disagree with you that she knows she is in over her head. That wouldn’t occur to her. She doesn’t understand why people don’t understand what she is saying. She is not smart enough to know she doesn’t belong where she is. She thinks she knows it all. She was chafing at the bit last week to be let loose and convince others of her greatness because she is convinced of it herself. She believes that the people who poke fun at her are envious or the liberal media. She has no concept of how she cannot be accepted.The problem is not so much that Palin didn’t blink before accepting the chance to be on the ticket, it is that the McCain camp, or more rightly the religious extremists shoving her down his throat, didn’t hesitate to put this country at risk by nominating someone so obtuse, so uneducated, so isolated, to be a heartbeat away from the presidency.But see, that is the same thought pattern of religious extremists of any ilk. They are right, there is no discussion, no argument, no second thoughts, they can’t understand why others would question them. THEY WILL FORCE THEIR WAY ONTO YOU.She will be the real loser here, unless the Republican party is willing to pay her dearly for her sacrifice. She is losing any political future she may have had.Everytime I see her and her husband together all I can think of is Todd and Lisa Lupner from SNL.

  18. Awesome post, motherfucker! You know Zen Comix linked to it?

  19. dang, once again I should have read you first before writing my own piece. You said it way better than I. Nice job DC. She is a comedian’s dream isn’t she?

  20. Brilliant, DCap–I can’t wait. As someone said, Biden just needs to avoid laughing loud at her. (Gwen Ifill is free to laugh her ass off, though.)

  21. Tonight…one of many of MSNBC’s political analysts say that all Biden needs to do is let Palin talk without interruption.

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