Posted by: distributorcap | September 30, 2008

End of the Rope

Today’s events have proved we have a broken government. We are leaderless, rudderless and clueless. NO matter the problem, crisis or fiasco – politics is front and center stage above anything to do with the people. So much blame was being passed around, it seemed like a joint at Woodstock. We probably would be better off if some of the douchebags in Congress actually smoked that joint being passed around. Especially the douchebaggiest one of them all – Rep. Eric Cantor of Virginia – it would be fun watching him getting the munchies and talk to his invisible friend.

I was not a fan of this bailout (or as Chimpy calls it ‘rescue’), but I also know something has to be done. The ‘rescue’ had some major flaws in it:

  1. the CEO compensation limitation was a joke – if you read between the lines, they would end up walking away with pretty much everything they were expecting
  2. the oversight committee consisted included Bernanke, Cox and Paulson – talk about foxes guarding the hen house
  3. there was no provision for criminal prosecution – these guys operated on the edge of legality and had to have crossed it at times
  4. it still never said exactly how this money would be spent to fix the problems

I will not even predict what should be done next. There are many writers and bloggers who can describe this mess and the ramifications of today’s actions in much clearer language. But my gut is telling me that since we have no good choices, whatever path we choose will lead to America being voted off Earth Idol.

But leave to American ingenuity in getting cash from a crisis – the movie rights to today’s showdown in Congress were sold and has already been made into a movie.

Torpedoed by a R-boat, survivors huddle together in the only lifeboat left from the USS Congress. Though the inhabitants of the lifeboat come from vastly different political philosophies, they quickly set aside the social and economic differences that divide them in a united effort to help their friends on the USS Wall Street. A seaman George is picked up out of the sea, whereas Nancy quickly opens her checkbook for him. George, who has a compass, suggests they head in the direction of Iraq. During a violent rainstorm, he yells at them that they are not doing a heckuva job. Turns out he was the R-boat commander. The others are in such fear of him allow him to take command of the boat, thinking their only hope of survival is to be rescued by the USS Babs the Impaler, where they will be promptly taken to the Astrodome.

Nancy always has time for her makeup, while John is proud of heart tattoo.

Meanwhile we are sinking fast, and the tiny thimble bailing out this lifeboat is not working very well.


  1. Ouch.My ass hurts. A lot.

  2. I think the best thing that could have happened today was nothing.Why prolong the agony?Wall Street is on life support and we pulled the plug. Anything that is worth anything will be absorbed and the world will keep on turning.Wall Street will breath again on it’s own. After the FBI rounds up the bad guys and derivatives and bets are outlawed we will start seeing normalcy again.

  3. Somewhere in a cave there’s a guy with a beard laughing his ass off certain as heck that he beat us on September 11th 2001 and this is just things winding out.Would it have been different if thing had been different in Florida and Bush had not been sworn in in January 2001?Yes.

  4. to tell you the truth, dcAp, i can’t figure out what is going on. whenever i think i can understand it, someone comes along and says something, and i am at sea again (and hoping that there is another boat out there to save me, because i’d rather drown than get in that one!). there are very few in congress with economic smarts who understand any of this shit. my question is why there are not lines of economists outside the capitol’s door, waiting to testify? why are we trusting wall street guys to fix what they broke (and stole) on wall street? this is like depending on the surgeon who erroneously cut off your leg to save your life. i know that something has to be done soon, but why not take a little time to do things right instead of just doing something to do something? either that, or have temporary measures to tide us over until a real solution can be found.

  5. “We probably would be better off if some of the douchebags in Congress actually smoked that joint being passed around”ROFL, thanks babe 🙂

  6. I say we give this project a green light… stat!

  7. hahahahaha soooofunny, and those pics ! What I don’t understand is why the heck is Obama pressing this to be passed? Que Paso ? I mean, I understand about McCain and his Wall Street friends, but Obama?

  8. What's really strange is the majority vote against it was *republicans*!!!Go figure!I agree pull the plug on Paulson "total immunity man" & Bernanke & Cox— They think the econlmy is sound? Let them go try to find a job!Show us the economy poobahs!!!

  9. Dcap you have such a talent for this.The rethugs voted against this because they have to face their constituents shortly. They won’t make any friends handing their banker friends a glass of champaign in front of the common folk.Simply put they get the elevator and we get the shaft.

  10. I’m glad the bailout failed.For the first time in my adult life, I say the fiscal conservatives were correct. And don’t get me wrong when I say fiscal conservatives. 95 of the House members who voted down this $700 billion scheme to bailout Wall Street criminals were Democrats.I have to laugh at all the whining proponents of the ‘free market.’ They love the ‘free market’ as long as things are going well but as soon as the market doesn’t act the way they want, they come crawling to the taxpayer, whining for help.Let me tell you something. The market has an uncanny ability to take care of itself. The process of elimination is brutal and without mercy but, 18 months from now, the USA will still be standing but the face of corporate America will look very different. Companies unable to survive will be bought up or sliced up and sold in pieces to the highest bidder but that is how the ‘free market’ is supposed to work. When banks grow weary of not being profitable, they will lower interest rates and lend money again to businesses and mortgage borrowers. That is how the ‘free market’ works.And you know what? We’re not screwed and we’re going to be fine. Bailing out a small cabal of Wall Street players isn’t our job.

  11. I’m dizzy from all the financial twists and turns. I didn’t like the bailout for the way it was sold. Had Paulson taken a different approach this crisis might have been averted. He came out demanding rather than explaining. Since the war was a must do now act and the Patriot Act was the same, people are leery of anyone in the govt who demands that anything must be done “now”.

  12. After the stock market plunge yesterday, average Americans’ 401k funds took a dive as well.I need some metal coffee cans and a shovel. I’m moving my money to the Bank of the Backyard.

  13. Oh DCap, Hitchcock’s rolling over in his grave.

  14. I like your film idea best. For it to have a happy ending, a great whale would come underneath the little boat and capsize it, and the occupants would all become food for great white loansharks.I can think of a couple other Hitchcock films you could do, Dcap.How about “The Economy Vanishes”? That one might be fun. Or… “Strangers on a Trainwreck”… “Dial B for Bankruptcy”…or maybe most appropriately… “To Catch a Thief”!

  15. FIA – hehehehehehIch – I don’t think we will see normalcy for awhile. Maybe when Not Jenna bush runs for office1138 – oh if gore had only done the right thing – and asked for a full state recountnonnie – good question – where are the worlds leading economists and business men – they are STAYING AS FAR AWAY FROM BUSH AS THEY CAN. Take our time ? please – there are elections to win, who cares about the countrynunya – you know we would be better offspart – you can be the 3rd best boy/gafferMarjorie – who knows why anyone does anything anymore. I just want bush to grow hair from earsFran – the repubs hated the bill because it smacks of socialism – after all American capitalism has worked out SO WELLDemeur – now I only need someone to pay me for making fun of Alfred hitchock.Christopher – free market is such a misnomer. It is only free as long as they make the rules. The market doenst always take care of itself – as long you have greedy evil bastards changing rules and playing on the edge -=- the market will stretch in directions it shouldn’t. I hope all of wall st has to forgo their hamptons mansions. UGHPop – Paulson is the problem – he is not a salesman – he thinks we are all his goldman sachs underlings. His initial plan wasn’t a plan — it was Mein KampfKz – I have 50s in the mattressDg – hitchcok would hate bush. Everyone hates bushSnave – hahahahahaha – I might steal some of your movies

  16. I heard his hair WAS growing from his ears plus his dick IS falling off.

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