Posted by: distributorcap | November 21, 2008

After the White House……

some First Ladies become Secretary of State, others become sitcom stars.

Our First Lady, The Car

Everybody knows after White House life, y’all come back sooner or later.
As anything from a goofy librarian to a egotistical New York legislator.
Well you all may think my story, is more fiction and I’m just a big liar.
But believe it or not our first lady has decided she’d retire.

As a car…
She’s our very own mobile star.
A 1963 totaled Chevy Sedan.
That’s our first lady without her man.
‘Cause she’ll help us through her husband’s economic doo-doo
And we’re so glad she’s near.

Our First Lady, the Car
Our First Lady, the Car


Dreading the thought of going back to Texas and becoming a hausfrau to George and his mother Babs the Impaler, Laura runs away from the White House without telling a soul. Realizing she will need a vehicle and a disguise to make her escape, Laura goes incognito to a used car lot in Chevy Chase, Maryland. There she sees a 1963 Chevy, very similar to the one she totaled. It even has an old fashioned AM radio. Laura seemingly entranced by the car, decides to give the Chevy a good inspection. While sitting on the front seat, a familiar voice from the radio calls to her: “Hello Laura. This is the guy you killed.” Of course, it was her dead ex-boyfriend Michael Douglas. Startled, but not ashamed to talk to a car (after all she is a Bush) – Laura asks Mike how he is doing. After a nice conversation, Laura has an idea for Mike. She asks him if she wants to play Freaky Friday whereby they would switches places (thus providing her with both wheels and a disguise at the same time). Mike, now in full body, though a bit scruffy and full of skid marks – scoots out of town and back to Midland.

Meanwhile on the other side of Washington…

With economic conditions so bad and now out of a job, Condi cannot afford a new car. While shopping for a vehicle, she just happens to end up at the same used car dealership where Laura is now parked (isn’t it amazing how TV is full of such coincidences). She sees the Chevy on the lot, realizes it matches her Ferragamos and buys it. While driving home, Condi turns on the radio. Instead of Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto #5, she hears Laura talking — and talking to her. She thinks she has finally cracked after 8 years of inhaling her boss’ farts. When Laura finally convinces Condi she really is a Chevrolet, they decide to move to Crawford and have some fun with George and Babs. Little do they know that Karl Rove collects ’63 Chevys that have been in car accidents and is trying to get the car into his collection. Hilarity ensues, as Laura will only talk to Condi and people begin to think Condi is really nuts.


voice of Laura Bush Ann Sothern
George Bush Buddy Ebsen
Condi Rice Lana Turner
Babs the Impaler Irene Ryan
Karl Rove Jim Nabors
Faegula, the car salesman Lindsay Graham


  1. Ha ha! “after all, she is a Bush”! “full of skidmarks”! Dcap-you’re TV productions are priceless!! I love your casting!!

  2. I read to the end, but I don’t think I’ll be watching, DC.If they actually leave January 20 (and I’m taking bets that they won’t go quietly), I’ll breathe a tiny sigh of relief, collect my tin cup and return to my street corner.Thanks for the brief smile. Wish I could have found some real humor in the (am)bush(ed) story. I guess I’m just too cynical now.Suzan

  3. Hi Cap;I had a ’63 Chevy with a 327 V-8 and a manual transmission.When it rumbled along it was a joy for a testosterone juiced kid to pilot in search of the estrogen filled opposite sex.Those two women would not do that car justice 🙂

  4. I can’t wait to hear the theme song that goes with it and the specific notes that play each time Babs the Impaler shows up!

  5. HA!

  6. D-Cap, when we retire I want to live in the condo next door to you so we can sit around and make up TV show pilots, movies and stage plays.Or you can make them up and I’ll just sit there and laugh.You are one of the funniest cats in Blogdom.Mwahh!

  7. Hil-arious! You have such a brilliant mind!

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