Posted by: distributorcap | April 29, 2009

As the Stomach Turns, episode 86,100

When we last left America..

Arlen “Magic Bullet” Specter threw the Republican Party under the bus for his own political survival. I guess the GOP has to reap what it is sown.

Michelle “I am not a kook” Bachmann removed her brain from under that same bus when she said that flu epidemics only happen under Democratic Presidents. Little does her little brain know the 1976 un-epidemic happened under Republican President Ford.

Pat “nuke Foggy Bottom” Robertson is retiring as President from the fair and balanced Regent University. Most people want to know when he is retiring from humanity.

The Bobsey Twins of Rush “has no dick” Limbaugh and Michelle “gets no dick” Malkin blame the flu outbreak on Mexican immigrants. So does Bachmann.

How many GOP idiots can dance on the head of a pin

  • drunk Missouri Senator Kit Bond continues to talk about the virtues of torture
  • senile Iowa Senator Charles Grassley said he had some problems with Obama’s pick for the Ag Dept. He referred to her as “that woman form Tufts” and “whatever her name is, I’ve read some things that would make some caution.”
  • infantile South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint (recently voted one of the most difficult 4-year olds to work with) said Specter’s defection is a good thing for the GOP, stating that Republicans are “seeing across the country that the biggest tent of all is the Tent of Freedom.”
  • flip flopper New Hampshire Senator Judd Gregg called Obama’s policies similar to Chavez’ – because he shook his hand.
  • completely deranged and global warming denier Minesota Representative Michele Bachmann There isn’t one such study because carbon dioxide is not a harmful gas, it is a harmless gas. Carbon dioxide is natural. It is not harmful. It is part of Earth’s life cycle.”

Rush Limbaugh proved he is not into bestiality when he recorded PSAs for the Humane Society against animal abuse (I cannot believe the man who used his asshole to avoid military activity actually did something good). Hunting groups are speaking out against it – how long before those groups apologize?

Air Force One flew low and around the Statue of Liberty for a photo-op.

meanwhile more unemployment, more businesses closing, more foreclosures, more war

‘the US has been a country for approximately 86,100 days


  1. I need more maalox….beastiality and Rush in the same sentence….urgh….yeah…..the GOP is STILL out there…wishing for their Own Country….

  2. Oi. And you forgot the growing number of cases of the swine flu in NYC. Saw my first subway rider with a face mask this a.m. Sadly–for her–it looked like it was made from cloth and was less than clean.

  3. How many GOP idiots can dance on the head of a pin? It all depends upon the density of those idiots, and since we’re speaking of the GOP that means an almost infinite number.

  4. Have you seen this? funny… I can’t wait to see what happens.

  5. Good round up of the nuttiest.. Of course with Spector.. he is just returning to the fold.. he was a Democrat before he was a Republican.. but it has been so long he has forgotten everything.. might need to send him to one of Bachmann’s re-education camps for a while…By the way.. the DCCC has a web site dedicated to Bachmann and her crazy now. just they are keeping a list of her greatest hits…lol

  6. Specter had better toe the line with the Democrats or else he can kiss that next primary bye bye.It’s fine if rats want to jump off a sinking ship, as long as they turn into docile mice once they get rescued.

  7. The biggest thing learned from the Clinton years — keep the Republicans down and way out, like Mary’s foot on the demon head. And bring on Franken!

  8. okay speaking of the pinheaded repugs that remain- here is MY deal- IF they are going to continue to Vocally support Torture, especially Waterboarding-they should be required to do so themselves- be waterboarded- and when done tell us that it is still harmless….if they can’t- time to go- pack their bags….and go…

  9. Hi Cap;The most insulting part of this post is that these people you are referring to are your leaders. :)Makes you wonder who voted them in?Don’t feel bad, there are precious few legislators in the world worthy of the task.A new poll shows 43% of Americans think America is in a better place today than in January and 43% think it is in a worse place. (I might be a little off on the numbers).Assuming that each side has a few responsible, conscientious people in it, you have to wonder what’s next? 🙂

  10. I can’t wait for episode 86,725! That’s when Luke and Laura get turned into robots!

  11. Great recap of the loony bin we call our government. Can’t we just fire them ALL? Start over? The founding fathers would pull out their muskets and start shooting everyone in Congress if they saw what passes for a “government of, by, and for the people” these days.

  12. Like you I think the leaders of the GOP are currently certifiable. I keep hearing from the rank and file of the party that politics are cyclical, that all they have to do is wait out the dems and they’ll be in power again.Maybe. But they’re also going to have to toss out the nuts. I’m not sure who will be left at that point.

  13. What are these people taking? And where can I get some?

  14. I am amazed that so many right-wingers are happy that Specter is gone (and some what Snowe out of the GOP too.) Evidently ideological purity is far more important than actually getting elected. It’s more like a religious cult than a political party. I know that Specter did it more as a political move, to keep his seat, than out of love for the Dems, but still.

  15. The Mets really suck this year.You left that out.JAS

  16. Oh DC take a bow! You outdid yourself. I was hooting and snorting with laughter. And I cannot, to save my soul, think of one rational Republican spokesperson, not a one. Wingnuttery is all there is.

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