Posted by: distributorcap | June 24, 2009

Double Feature

The Mark Sanford Affair:
1. This was WAY too easy to parody
2. This was WAY too much fun
3. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha – another douchebag bites the dust – couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of hyprocrites

**When Mark Sanford was a Representative – he of course vote to impeach Clinton for — having an affair. Governor Sanford to Fox News on Jun 4, 2009 (3 weeks ago):

You know, if somebody’s getting (oral sex) in the — the Oval Office — that’s enough to tick off pretty much every soccer mom in America. And a whole lot of soccer dads. If you’ve got the secretary of energy saying that — what’s it take for me to get this — Monica Lewinsky a job, and she’s saying — I don’t want to actually work. Just give me the job– that’s enough to tick off a lot of folks.

Unless of course you are a governor getting a blow job from Maria X in Buenos Aires.

But give Mark Sanford some credit for restraint – he made it very clear he didn’t want stimulus dollars for South Carolina’s economy until the State Supreme Court forced him to take it. He knew better – he is now being investigated to see whether he took those trips to Argentina on taxpayer dollars.

Kudos to Mrs. Sanford for throwing him out of the house and not standing next to him at that pathetic press conference. My best to her and her children.

Songs from the musical – Markita
Requiem for Markita
Oh, What a Circus
On This Night of a Thousand Hypocrisies

Mark, Beware of the Limbaugh
Take Me Home, Appalachia Trails
Goodnight and Thank You For Spreading Your Legs
The Art of the Hiking
I’d Be Surprisingly Bad as Your President
Another Email and Another Airplane
Sanford’s Latest Flame
On the Balcony of the South Carolina Statehouse
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
igh Flying Adored on Taxpayer Dollars
The Governor Hasn’t Learned (You Are Gonna Get Caught)
And the Federal Money Kept Rolling In
Waltz For Mark and Maria
She Has the Best Curved Hips
My Wife Is Rolling
Mark’s Final News Conference

It is little know, but Down Argentine Way was the first movie to use “emails”

Mark emails to Maria X: (July 2008) You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …

… In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul….

You can’t make this shit up.


  1. these guys make it just too easy! just when you're wondering what you're gonna blog about that day, another hypocrite gets caught getting his dinky stinky.

  2. Just wait, the pitiful wife with hound dogged hubby photos will soon be playing in the tabloids found conveniently at the grocery store checkout counter.

  3. "the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself)" — These pronouns do not specify a female subject, and while the nouns evoke femininity, Sanford may still be addressing a male cupping his own balls. I'm just saying, wait for the genetic sex verification before you go off half-cocked (hah!) assuming Sanford (a Republican) had an affair with a woman.

  4. Who next shall wear the GOP clown crown? Lovin' every minute of it. You're right, the Argentina jokes are SO easy now . . .On April 4, took a disparaging look at this drool fool: more South Caroliniana, see:theoriginalredneckshop.comIndeed, you really can't make this stuff up . . .

  5. I don't care about the affair. I think we should care that he abandoned his job for a week without telling anyone where he went. If I did that I would be fired for Job Abandonment.Also, evidently the taxpayer has been on the hook for some of his previous trips to Argentina.

  6. How much worse could it get? Don't answer that.

  7. Oh I was hopeful you'd put up that picture of Lillian Gish in the scarlet letter with Sanfords head.On the bright side at least they're moving up from underage male pages.

  8. How much longer must we wait for the GOP grand finale? Lindsey Graham just HAS TO admit soon that he's McCain's pudgy lil' Southern bottom.The GOP and their followers are taking turns:Week 1. Vigilante murderWeek 2. AdulteryWeek 3. Vigilante murderWeek 4. AdulteryIs that all they can do is kill and fuck?

  9. Hi Cap;Correct me if I am wrong, I don't condone his behavior, but I have not been an angel all my life either.He will pay the consequences as did Bill. Every time I look at Bill I think of a blue dress stain.But isn't fooling around something that is a religious moral trap?And many who comment here I believe are not religious as per previous comments :)Many famous men have screwed around, including JFK, who I still admire as he was a genuine war hero and when he looked the USSR in the eye and dared them to cross the line they blinked first. I was a scared kid and he impressed me.I don't know if the guy was a good governor or not, but it appears that both parties have enough transgressors at the top.As much as this fellow disappoints, he is not near as bad as that chick you wrote about yesterday who could give a damn about starving children.You may get caught screwing around, and that is not a great thing, but there is a hell of a lot more to life.Maybe his wife drove him to the arms of another woman, we don't know.

  10. Oh please! The shit it getting so thick I can hardly stand it. Next we will see him sporting a Rebel flag @ the 4th of July parade?This good ol' boy was just brushing up on Foreign relations…..ACK! If there were such a thing as a hypocrisy meter, I think it would have exploded.

  11. There is much more about this we don't know yet,#1 Who sent the emails to the State Newspaper?#2 Why did they hold them for 6 months and not publish them?#3 Why and how did he keep this secret for so long with so many people knowing about it? i.e. wife, SLED, other GOPers, Staff, and so forth. #4 If he was really breaking it off with this woman, why did it take him 5 days in Argentina? #5 How many of our tax dollars paid of his trips down to SA and are we sure it was only 3 trips?Inquiring minds want to know.

  12. And people say Republicans can't be romantic and sexy. How's the egg on your face now, filthy hippies?

  13. typical lying, cheating, thieving asshole politician.

  14. It's a hoot isn't it? I'm hearing that the joke is that the Republicans are deliberately doing this to gain new members: COme to the GOP, Sex from wall to wall. Don't miss out. The Dems don't get nearly as much as us!" Can you say implosion???

  15. Wowsers…. that was one hot email!!!!!It was almost enough to make me call my ex-wife!!!

  16. It was quite refreshing to see a politician's wife not stand by her man.He should just move down there, you know, but this will more likely make him a rock star in the GOP.

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