Naming Conventions

If sitcoms can be rerun, so can blogposts – so enjoy this one from July 2007 (CBS starts rerunning their sitcoms a month into the season, I think 18 months is a good time to bring back some oldies).

This post does have relevance and also has a video update!!!!!!

The Sound of Music is NOT one of my favorite movies — but then again I really don’t despise it. But it does figure into my blogworld.

It is long, the story is kind of dumb, there is a ton of poetic license taken, the kids are annoying, they ripped off Gone With The Wind (with Maria instead of Scarlett making clothing out of curtains) and I guess at my advanced age, the movie really doesn’t hold my attention. Or maybe I just have ADHD. Or maybe I just don’t believe it is that easy to control marionettes. Or maybe i just don’t believe Julie Andrews would really let herself look like this after coming off her Oscar.

My favorite anecdote about this movie is when it was played in Korea in the early 70’s the theatre owners felt it was too long — so they cut out ALL the songs. I can only imagine Julie Andrews and those kids traipsing through the mountains without singing Do Re Mi.

But there are actually 2 redeeming qualities to this movie. It has one of the best openings (along with West Side Story) ever from Hollywood — there is NO more gorgeous scenery than Salzburg from those aerial shots. And, secondly, this move has very smart Nuns.

So here is the synopsis – Maria gets foisted off on a Austrian Navy captain (think about that – landlocked Austria having a Navy) with a seven very dull and friendless kids (though one of his kids does get a gig in Lost In Space). After it rains one night, Julie teaches them a lot of songs. Then the bonding begins as the kids prance in the mountains, have a puppet show, play ball with the completely uncoordinated baroness and have a few over-the-top emotional moments. At the same time, the Captain laments about edelweiss, realizes the Baroness is a bitch, and does marries the governess. Standard Hollywood schlock. [The Captain must have learned about aphrodisiacal effects of edelweiss from watching old Superman episodes, specifically the one where Superman has to fly all the way to Austria to get a flower to entice Lois Lane to marry him).

Captain Von Trapp – is very Austrian and doesn’t like the fact that the Nazis have taken over. But this no democracy – and he has no choice but to be commissioned in the Third Reich Navy. Julie and her gang of American Idol wannabes (So Long, Farewell) decide to use the Salzburg Music Festival (aka Austria’s Got Talent) as a diversion to escape from the nasty Germans. When called for their prize, Captain Von Trapp, his seven spoiled brats, and his Singing Nun bride (not to be confused with the Dominique Singing Nun) manage to escape the very humorless Nazis. Having no where to go – the Von Trapps head for Maria’s old haunt – the Abbey – and hide in the cemetery behind some very [conveniently] large headstones.

When they think the coast is clear – the Von Trapps emerge from the shadows and lo and behold – they run right into Liesl’s (or is it Gretl’s or Brigitha’s – all those kids sound alike, kind of like the music in the movie) Nazi youth boyfriend, Rolf (I was born in Dusseldorf, and that is why they call me Rolf – oops wrong Nazi movie). The Captain tries to talk him out of blowing the whistle — which of course leads Rolf to blowing the whistle very loudly. (boy I could write this script).

Julie and her gang run to their car where the those humorless Nazis are ‘sort of’ waiting. Enter the hero Nuns (including Marni Nixon, who found more fame singing for Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood and Deborah Kerr — but somehow is now relegated to a minor Nun). These Nuns are no Sister Bertrilles — they can’t fly but they know their cars.

So while Julie and the freedom loving Captain are fleeing to the Alps (and to the world of capitalism by opening a ski resort in Stowe, Vermont), the hapless Nazis (who only have 2 cars ready to chase the man they want to lead the Austrian Navy) are stuck by the entrance to the church because…

the Nuns took out the DISTRIBUTOR CAP from their cars.

Now you know etymology of the handle, from a movie that is not one of my favorite things, but found memorable enough to use for a handle. Plus my grandmother dragged me to see it at least 3x in 1965. When you are 7 going on 8, somethings never leave your mind.